Eyes

I had a day off today so I decided to quit procrastinating and go to the eye Dr. I have not had a new pair of glasses in a few years, and although I do not wear them all the time, it would be nice to be able to see out of them when I do. Eye exams are not typically something that people get nervous over, including me, but I have an astigmatism that gets worse every year and I am always worried that they are going to tell me I HAVE to wear my glasses, because contacts can only correct it so much. Ok, so really that isn't that big of a deal, but there is one moment that I get a little butterfly in my stomach. It starts with the eye dilation (which I hate, it makes me feel off balance for hours!):
I have something that is called Congenital retinal pigment epithelial hypertrophy (CHRPE) or as the Dr calls them "bear claws" in my eyes. They are little spots on the back of your eye and can be a sign of cancer, although the chances of them becoming malignant are not that likely. Here is a picture of what it looks like.
So even though it is rare, the hypochondriac in me thinks that there will have been some change and I am going to die of eye cancer. Again, being the hypochondriac that I am, I research things A LOT and have also found that these cute little freckles can be a sign of colon polyps, which can be cancerous as well. Those are not typically found until you are in your 40's or 50's, so I have 10-20 years to worry about getting bowel cancer. I have already determined that I will die of cancer at some point in my life!

So the Dr stares deeply into my eyes, for longer than I think is necessary, and tells me how fascinating these things are. He tells me he wishes I could see them with my own eyes. He then says they look the same as they did last year, and every year before that and I have nothing to worry about. Whew, dodged the bullet for 1 more year! Yes, I know I am over dramatic but I like to think of it as realistic, not dramatic! I try to think positively about it though, and even if I do get eye cancer at some point in my life, at least I will be able to get some medical Marijuana for the pain.

My secret

I am a sun seeker. I love the heat, the warmth, the light. When I do not have the sun, I am sad. Every year, when the leaves start to change I start psyching myself up for long months ahead. Every year I also ask myself why I live in Utah. Now don't get me wrong, I do love Utah! I love how beautiful it is here and part of me loves that we get every season imaginable. I just wish the warmer months were longer, and the colder months were shorter. My idea of heaven is sitting on a beach in Mexico ALL day long!

So, starting around the end of January, I start going a little stir crazy. I have not really seen any sign of the sun in a few months. Along with my knees and back, my hands are starting to get arthritic from all the crocheting I am doing to generate warmth. The only time I can feel my toes is when I am in a steaming hot shower, which actually hurts for the first few minutes! I believe that this is when the bitter February wind starts in and I want to die.

This is where my secret comes in.

I like to tan.

In a tanning bed.
Yes that's right! There is nothing like laying in that bed for 25 minutes, under the fluorescent lights and sweating to my Ipod. It is the first time all winter that my feet are not cold and my body is filled with the Vitamin D that I don't get from my Soy milk. I can close my eyes, imagine hot sand burning my feet, and get lost in Janis Joplin's "Summertime". For me, it is not necessarily about the browning of my see-through white skin (which I am not complaining about!), but the increase in that happy, good feeling that the sun gives me. I smile and get warm fuzzies just thinking about it! I know more about tanning beds than you can imagine! You want to know the difference between a Wolff and a Ruva bed, just ask!

Now I can already hear the gasps about all of the damage that this can cause to my skin. Yes, I know how bad UVB and UVA lights are for my skin. I also know that they are now promoting people get 10-15 minutes in the sun because most are lacking in Vitamin D due to the increase in sunblock use. I am also the first one to promote wearing sunblock ANYTIME you are out in the sun! No one likes a sunburn and no one likes cancer! The remedy to this problem is that I wear sunblock in the tanning bed. I can get the benefits that the light gives me (no matter how psychosomatic) all the while protecting myself from skin cancer. There is such a thing as responsible tanning!

So there it is, my secret. My healthy glow recently is not due to a new man in my life nor acceptance to the grad school of my choice (again, I was REJECTED!), it is simply the glow from the tanning bed. Warm, bright tanning bed. I love you.

Humiliation

I have never considered myself the type of girl who can't do anything a man can do, besides lifting heavy things and peeing standing up, but there are times in my life that I definitely FEEL that way.

Yesterday as I was driving home from work, and all I wanted to do was go home and take off my heels. The responsible part of me took over though and I made a detour to stop by the grocery store to pick up a few things. As I was turning the corner, the truck in front of me lost something.
That innocent looking bucket proceeded to make it's way right under my very low to the ground car, and stuck. Have you ever heard the sound of a plastic bucket being scraped forcefully against asphalt? It's not quiet. So I pull into the stores parking lot and pull into a parking spot. A man walks over pointing underneath my car and I nod and wave him off. Yeah dude, I can hear it! I look under my car and this bucket is completely wedged underneath my car and it ain't budgin! Now add onto this that it is raining and the ground is soaking wet, I am in my new heels (very hot!), and a skirt. Hmm. There is no way I can get on the ground without flashing everyone. I then think about getting out my car jack from the trunk when I remember my trunk is completely PACKED with stuff I was planning on taking to the homeless shelter a few months ago!

So I do what no man would probably ever do and I decide to drive home. I figure that due to the fact that it is a plastic bucket, the asphalt will eventually wear it down enough that it will come loose and set me free. I also deduct that my car is a lot tougher than a plastic bucket so I am pretty sure I will not damage my car in anyway. I mean really, what is a few blocks of humiliation to save yourself the embarrassment of showing everyone your bum! So off I go, making everyones ears bleed as I drive the blocks, and blocks, and blocks home. You should have seen the guys at Jiffy Lube staring at me! It actually took a lot longer than I thought for that stinkin bucket to wear down enough to get loose and I was pulling into my parking lot when it finally broke free. As far as I can tell, there is no damage to my car but the damage that my pride took more than covers it!

I am sorry if I made you cringe Brian, but at least I saved you a trip from having to come and rescue me, once again.

So embarrassing!

Earth Day

Today is Earth day and I love her! I love the beauty she possesses and the joy she brings. I love all the "nature" she gives us in the beautiful mountains we call home and the awesome oceans we get to visit. Unfortunately, I don't always treat her right. I try to, but honestly, sometimes I just don't want to wash any dishes and I end up filling her with paper plates. Sometimes, I get really thirsty and buy a bottle of water, which ends up her landfills. I have even made excuses that recycling is not offered in my area, but really I could drive my recycling somewhere else. Yes, I feel guilty about it and I do want to do my part to make less of an impact on her. So I am going to try to start doing things to make my impact on this earth a little less noticeable. The following is a list of things we can all do to make our summer a little "greener" and I challenge everyone to give it a try.

1. This first one is a tough one for most people, but it is something I have no problem doing as I am a heat seeker. Turn up your thermostat a few degrees in the summer which not only helps cool down the earth, but saves you some money as well! If the heat is unbearable, put your feet in some ice water for a few minutes.

2. We all love to barbecue, but there is a smart way to do it. Use propane instead of charcoal or wood, it burns much cleaner. Also, clean your grill with an organic cleaner like Soyclean it’s just as tough on grime as traditional cleaners, but won’t leave that chemical residue behind which gets on your food the next time you use it. Healthy for everyone!

3. Buy your food locally. Summer is a great time to shop farmers markets and those roadside stands for fruits and veggies. Not only do you help local farmers, you also help to cut down on the use of fossil fuels, which significantly reduces levels of pollution and resource depletion over your typical tomato bought at the local supermarket.

4. I know this one is hard as well, because the last thing you want to do is dishes after a full meal, but try to use reusable dishes instead of plastic or paper. Try to make it fun by making EVERYONE help. Not only do you spend time together, but it makes cleanup fast!
5. This may not be one that people think of, but bug spray plays a big role on all earths creatures, not just mosquitoes. DDT is dangerous and can end up turning your backyard into a deathtrap for every other kind of living thing that drops by for a visit. That means birds, butterflies, ladybugs, and even the family dog gets an unhealthy dose. Not to mention yourself, the kids, and the neighbors’ kids. Use products like garlic barrier to ward off mosquitoes. Make sure to apply it when you think it won’t rain for several days, and the garlic alternative should treat you right. Planting rosemary is a natural and low-tech way to block nasty mosquitoes as well.

6. We all know that water usage is a big deal in EVERY part of the world. We can do our parts by watching how much water we are using. There are a lot of beautiful, native plants and flowers we can buy for our yards that require less watering. Also, you may like a super green lawn, but will you really like it when you don't have any water drink? The best time to water is at night when the sun won't evaporate it and make sure you are not over watering!

So there are just a few tips to try to help our mother earth. They may seem small, but if everyone did them, it would have a positive impact on the planet. For other tips on how to "go green" click on this link http://planetgreen.discovery.com/

Peace out!

Stacey

Ever since I decided to write a book, I have been unable to think of 1 little thing to blog about. I mean nothing. Not a good sign for the book! So thanks to Google, I give you the "Stacey Smileys" of the world.....

1. I live in Michigan with my 2 children and my husband Mike Smiley (also my fathers name, creepy).
2. I am a blond teenager in London and I really love all "me mates!".
3. I went to Betsy Lane Elementary School in Kentucky from 78-82.
4. I went to West Perry High School in Pennsylvania from 79-83.
5. I am an author and possible film maker in the United Kingdom.
6. I am a 43 year old in Andover, IL that had Gastric Bypass surgery 5 years ago and apparently I look amazing!
7. I am a corporate trainer in Texas and I lost 8lbs on Jenny Craig.
8. In 1942 I was a male who worked for the Union Bag and Paper Company.
9. I am an independent manager for Close to My Heart in Flint, MI and I love photography and scrap booking.
10. And lastly, I sell local art that I make in Alaska.

Here are some fun facts:

1. The U.S Consensus puts the number of "Stacey Smileys" at around 27.
2. The name Stacey comes from the word Anastasia, is Greek, and means 'the resurrection'.
3. Stacey though is thought to have originated in Ireland.
4. I believe the last name "Smiley" was Irish as well and may have been O'Smiley at one point.
5. My dad has my name tattooed on his chest and it is spelled wrong (Stacy)
6. It is also spelled wrong on my birth certificate. My mom claims the correct spelling is Stacey.
7. Maybe she is just being nice.
8. I talk on the phone at work and often times people mishear my name. The most common things I get called are Ci'Ci and Daisy.
9. Growing up, stupid kids would ask me if I was related to Guy Smiley. Yeah, I'm half puppet.
10. I love my last name and if I get married, I am not sure if I will change it.

Keep

The Perfect Houswife

I was laying in bed this morning debating whether I should get up or not when I heard Celeste moving for the day. I decided to drag myself out of bed and as I walked out of my room I see Celeste in her pajama shorts, her teacher sweater, and what everyone puts on first thing in the morning.....high heels! I started laughing and asked her what she was doing and her response was, "I have always wanted to cook eggs in heels." Well now, that's interesting! What's next, the laundry? Toilet cleaning? It doesn't get much better than this fella's!

Isn't this the housewife of every man's dreams?

I am not sure how the eggs were though, she didn't make any for me.

Post 50

I have reached my 50th post and have decided I will just do a list of 50 things about me. Some it if you may already know but hopefully there will be some things that you don't.

1. I am a Gemini
2. I am always cold and my feet always feel like ice.
3. I love pickles
4. I can't sleep without my body pillow
5. I love to read
6. I want to live in Mexico on the beach
7. I have an irrational fear of bees
8. I am a hypochondriac
9. I hate wearing a bra
10. I invited a homeless man to have dinner with my friends and I after a concert once, they thought I was crazy.
11. I love taking black and white pictures of children.
12. The furthest East I have been is Illinois/Wisconsin
13. I love to play Scrabble. It is not just a game to me though and I am ruthless when I play. It is the only game I take so seriously.
14. I HATE onions. Even saying the word makes me want to throw up.
15. I love plants and gardening. If I had my own place I would have the most amazing garden and would never need to buy vegetables from the store again.
16. I have been close to dying twice. Once in a car wreck, once after I broke my leg and had blood clots fill up my lung. Both times it turned out fine. It has made me believe that there is something I need to do here and I continue to do the most with my life to figure it out.
17. Sometimes I take Benadryl when I don't need it just so I can get a good nights sleep.
18. I love horror films, even really bad slasher films. I have never seen a movie that REALLY scared me.

19. I chew ice and I can't seem to stop even though I know how bad it is for my teeth. I LOVE it!
20. I hate talking on the phone.
21. I can't sleep if there is even a little bit of light in the room. I have the window blocked out in my room and I also have an eye mask for times when light comes under the door or the VCR light is bothering me too much.
22. I have a hard time throwing things away, which means I have a lot of useless junk.
23. Even though I am not thin, I know a lot about fitness and health.
24. I have always wanted to be a photo journalist.
25. I burn incense in my car.
26. I worked at a store that sold mens dress shirts and I realize that is a great place to meet guys. Too bad I was in high school at the time.
27. I want to learn to speak Spanish, Italian, and French.
28. I am afraid of deep bodies of water that I can't see my feet in. I imagine there are huge freaky critters down there and I don't want to step on them or have them touch my feet.
29. I love snakes.
30. I was a cheerleader in high school.
31. I hate fighting and can't watch boxing or ultimate fighting because I don't like to see people get hurt, even though I know it is a sport. This includes people yelling at each other. Your point doesn't get across more because your yelling, it just makes you look irrational.
32. I was fired from Hogi Yogi when I was in college because I got my nose pierced and refused to take it out for work.
33. I like to watch people when they don't know your watching. Not because I am weird, but because I like to see people in their natural environments. You learn a lot about people that way which really helps in my line of work.
34. I love to sing and am one of those people that belt it out in the car. You know the ones you stare and laugh at, that's me.

35. I can't meditate. I have tried numerous times. I typically just get mad and give up. Therefore meditation=stress to me.
36. I love infomercials, especially in the middle of the night when I can't sleep.
37. I get butterflies in my stomach when I see or watch Anderson Cooper.
38. I love tattoos and would ultimately love to have full sleeves.
39. My favorite number is 24 and my favorite color is blue.
40. I love going to yard sales in the summer and seeing what kinds of cool things I can buy to fix up.
41. I wish I could grow my hair down to my butt.
42. I feel most at peace camping in the mountains or sitting next to the ocean breathing in the air.
43. I wish I knew how to play a musical instrument, especially the guitar.
44. Even though I eat meat, I hate the thought of animals dying for me (apparently not enough to stop eating meat though)
45. This post is harder than I thought it would be.
46. I believe in ghosts.
47. I would like to end up with someone like a doctor or pilot because they are away a lot and I like to have my space. Perfect fit.
48. I love bad boys. Not the kind that abuse you and treat you like crap, the kind that look like they just crawled out from under a greasy car, muscles glistening. The kind that keep you wondering what their thinking and aren't afraid to stand up to you. The kind with tattoos and motorcycles. I could go on but won't.
49. I think there is nothing better in the world than laughter.
50. And finally, last but not least, I have found that I really enjoy writing since I started this blog and I may try my hand out at it. Would you read a memoir about my life?

Happy 50th post dear blog!

Misc....

How can it feel like there is so much going on while at the same time nothing going on? Here are just some random things that have happened over the last few days.

First off, I got a rejection letter from University of Washington and I was put on the alternate list with Utah State (which means if someone declines their acceptance they start on the alternate list, I have no idea what number I am on it). I am still waiting to hear from Portland but it is a pretty tough school to get into so I am not holding my breath! Wow, all that work on my applications and the money I spent was WELL worth it! Whatever.

Second, we have a maintenance worker who I believe is special needs (is that politically correct?) and he is a great guy. He always says hello and wants to talk. He is always inventing something artistic and bringing it to the office to show us, and is just an all around really good guy. Well today he comes into the office and it seems like he is really down or something is bothering him. I say hello to him and he proceeds to say "Hi Stacey, you know, I don't care what anyone says about you, I think you are a nice person." Um, ok. Apparently someone has been saying some not so nice things about me in front of him! He left the office and we just couldn't stop laughing! It was just such a funny thing to say to someone! Now I know I can be confrontational (in a good way), I don't take a lot of crap, and I have had people not like me for that, but if you have a problem with me, please don't tell the sweet maintenance guy and ruin his day! Come tell me and I will make it a mission to ruin YOUR day!


Third, there have been no duck or goose attacks as of lately and as far as I know, all of the eggs are being safely incubated. There have also been no signs of those little girls. I hope that is just a coincidence.


















Fourth, I had a crazy dream the other night about a volcano. I have never dreamed anything like it before and so I had to look up the meaning. Apparently I have a lot of pent up energy and emotions and if I don't find a release soon, I will explode. So please do not do anything to provoke that as I am sure it will not be pretty.

Ok thats all I got, or at least that is all my brain can process right now. I asked this of my Aunt Mary but do you ever get the feeling that your life is one big "Punk'd" episode?